Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
