So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
