I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize