That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Randomize
