Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
