Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
