I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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