We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
So vagazzling was a success
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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