Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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