Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
