New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
