thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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