i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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