i permit you to call me
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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