I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize