so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
They have beer where we have blood.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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