I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
