I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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