In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Randomize
