You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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