im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
