I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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