super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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