I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
