i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
