so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
