Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
