put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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