I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
