You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
