Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
