We're like a lot better than the average bears
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
