I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
And the cops told us we were all naked.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
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