gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
