He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
