There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
