he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
