Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
