@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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