You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
