he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Everyone says I win the strip club
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
