I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
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