all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
