I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
