he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
please come you make the beer taste better
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
this will be a night to untag.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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