i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
