I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
