You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
