it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
