Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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