i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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