found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
