i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
My liver just had a heart attack.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
