is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
