He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
