we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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