CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
