it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
