Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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